The Change Between Us

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Relevance Review

For each card, mark how relevant it feels to the work you do with couples:

H = High relevanceM = Medium relevanceL = Low relevance

EGGSHELL PATTERN

You begin filtering what you say to avoid triggering a reaction

FIX-IT PATTERN

One partner tries to solve while the other feels unseen or dismissed

SILENT DRIFT PATTERN

Connection fades as both partners slowly stop reaching for each other

REJECTION PATTERN

Attempts at closeness are met with distance, creating hurt on both sides

ESCALATION PATTERN

Small moments quickly intensify into bigger reactions

BURNOUT PATTERN

Emotional fatigue builds as neither partner feels restored

IMBALANCE PATTERN

One partner adapts while the other remains unchanged

PRESSURE PATTERN

Expectations around intimacy or behavior create resistance

MISINTERPRET PATTERN

Intentions are misunderstood, leading to unnecessary conflict

VALIDATION PATTERN

A lack of acknowledgment leaves both partners feeling unseen

ISOLATION PATTERN

Each partner withdraws into their own internal experience

MISUNDERSTANDING PATTERN

Moments of misunderstanding begin to shift the pattern

PROJECTION PATTERN

Assumptions replace curiosity about what the other is feeling

SHUTDOWN PATTERN

Emotional engagement stops to avoid overwhelm or conflict

REPETITION PATTERN

The same interaction plays out again without resolution

SENSITIVITY PATTERN

Everything feels heightened, making neutral moments feel negative

AVOIDANCE PATTERN

Important topics are sidestepped to prevent discomfort

MASKING PATTERN

True feelings are hidden to keep the peace

OVERTHINKING PATTERN

Thoughts spiral before communication even begins

MISALIGNMENT PATTERN

What one partner offers is not what the other needs

Based on your experience, what are common scenarios, patterns, or growth paths not included that we should add? Thank you!

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